Wednesday, May 26, 2010

In Our Prime: Empowering Essays by Women on Love, Family, Career, Aging, and Just Coping


For me, it started right around the time I had children.

This insatiable curiosity about how other women do it. What's "it"? Well, you know, this whole modern woman's life thing. There's so many pieces to try to put together: work, love, life . . .  And no matter what, they just don't all fit into the nice orderly pattern that my younger self imagined they would.

That's why when a friend of mine told me that she'd just published a piece in an anthology of essays by and about women over 50, I jumped at her offer to sell me a copy. Then - in classic multitasking mode - I zoomed through most of In Our Prime: Empowering Essays by Women on Love, Family, Career, Aging, and Just Coping in one sitting, camped out on the sidelines of my youngest son's soccer practice.

Although I'm still in a different stage of life than most of these women, reading their stories felt like being introduced to a big group of friends of friends: some I loved, some I couldn't relate to, some I was awed by, some my heart hurt for, and a few who turned me off completely.

But mostly, their stories stayed with me.

Elizabeth, coming to terms with the fact that she left a high achieving career track to care for her children, aging parents, sick husband, and recurrent family emergencies, while her old friend, Linda, became president of a major corporation - cashing out with $18 million, prestigious board posts, speaking engagements, and her own children to boot.

Monica, who despite graduating magna cum laude and publishing two award-winning books, finds herself a member of America's "college educated nouveau poor." Married to a man who dutifully works "a habitual job that offers too little to pay the bills," she struggles to care for four children - including a disabled, brain damaged son - while coping with fears of destitution.

Glendal, an African American woman, working through layers and layers of racially-infused hurt and pain under her "got it all together" facade, evolving to a place where she's nonetheless able embrace a positive vision of race - and humanity.

Many, many stories. About work, love, loss, abuse, grief, fear, regret, hope, resilience . . .  not to mention aging, appearance, body image, sex and much more. While loosely organized into thematic sections, overall the essays don't offer any single, simple message. While the majority of women have found grace and wisdom through their issues and struggles, some are still groping in the dark. Just like real life, it's an ongoing story. There's no one-size-fits-all ending.

Still, a recurrent set of questions - as well as some answers - weave through the book. As long as basic survival needs have been met, the big questions keep coming up: Who am I, really? How do I manifest my authentic self in the world? What's really important in life? How do I learn to accept - and learn from - pain and disappointment? How do I live a full and meaningful life?

As always, the deepest answers are so deceptively simple, they may easily seem trite. Evolving to a place where you can truly love your self, others, life - this unlocks the deeper wisdom and joy. But we're wired to forget such basic truths; it takes a lifetime (or maybe more) to learn them. That's why we need to hear them over and over again. But how do you do this in a way that makes them once again feel real and compelling?

That's why I love hearing other women's stories - each offers an unique prism through which to view our common experience. And listening to older women, who have lived through many, many chapters of life only to find themselves faced with the challenge of aging in a culture hyper-obsessed with youth and beauty, is invaluable.

There are many paths up the mountain. I look to the guides who have come before me for some help in finding some markers as I walk on. Not to mention pausing for a bit of coffee, conversation, and companionship on the way. Because however separated we may often seem, ultimately we're really all in this together.

Nancy Griffin Worssam, ed., In Our Prime: Empowering Essays by Women on Love, Family, Career, Aging, and Just Coping (CreateSpace 2010).

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Food Movement: Let's Grow It

Normally, I'm someone who shies away from lionizing famous people. Notwithstanding a recent infatuation with Jack White, I'm usually uninterested in celebrities, skeptical of political leaders, mistrustful of gurus, and just generally allergic to being any sort of follower.

But Michael Pollan has broken through all that to become one of my heroes. If you haven't yet read his instant classic, The Omnivorve's Dilemma, please run don't walk to your nearest bookstore (or lightning click that handy Amazon button) and check it out.

Because Pollan is an amazingly talented writer, one who can weave an arsenal of facts into a story so absorbing that you don't register how much you're learning until later, when circumstances force you to put the book down. And what he's making so easy to learn is something that this country desperately needs to understandt: that is, the vicious downward spiral that constitutes our mainstream food supply and consumption system.

In case you're not familiar, it goes something like this:
  1. The Federal Government uses our tax dollars to subsidize huge agri-businesses that have turned much of America's farmland into one ginormous cornfield. Huge amounts of petroleum-based fertilizers go into the land. Huge amounts of pesticides are sprayed on it. Smaller family farms get squeezed out.
  2. So much corn is produced that all sorts of inventive means are found to use it all up. Corn is used in a staggering array of fast and processed foods. High fructose corn syrup is poured into as many drinks, crackers, cookies, and other foods as possible. Corn is fed to cows to fatten them up quickly.
  3. Since a corn diet makes cows (who would normally eat grass) sick, they're fed huge amounts of antibiotics. Weird new diseases develop as bacteria mutate to beat the antibiotic onslaught.
  4. Some of these diseases make in to our food supply. People get sick and some more vulnerable people, like small children, die.
  5. The cheap corn used to produce sugary sodas, junk food, fast food, and processed food, keeps all of those junky foods cheap. Millions of people who are strapped for cash buy and eat it regularly.
  6. The food's designed by highly trained scientists to be addictive. You get used to eating it and, even though it's incredibly bad for you, you crave more.
  7. Most of the businesses bound up with the production, distribution, and consumption of this crappy food pay people crappy wages and give them crappy working conditions. People working long hours and making little money buy the cheap food that keeps these businesses going.
  8. Meanwhile eating this food makes us sick. Childhood obesity soars. Adult obesity becomes normalized in less affluent areas. Type II diabetes and heart disease spike. Not to mention the less calculable costs: losing the joy of a strong, healthy body far, far too young.
  9. The sickness caused by all of this bad, cheap food makes our health care costs soar. We pay more in tax dollars and insurance premiums to cover it.
  10. So, basically, we pay big corporations to make us sick and then we pay again for the sickness. And humans and animals suffer. And the land and water become depleted and contaminated.
http://www.naturaltherapypages.com.au/media_library/Image/article_images/4024312_OrganicFood_1.jpgBut what I love about Michael Pollan is that he can make us understand all this (and much more) without pulling us down into that sinking, depressing, the-world-is-insane-but-what-can-you-do-about-it feeling that most of us are so familiar with today. He shows us what's wrong, but doesn't traffic in hate, fear, or cynicism -- or even simplistic, starry-eyed pseudo-solutions.

This is amazingly refreshing to me. Here's an issue that matters deeply to health on every level: our bodies, our families, our communities, our nation; the labor market, health care system, and economy; the land and water; animals and the environment. And, every time you eat or go grocery shopping, you have the opportunity to do something tangible about it.

You probably know the drill: buy local and organic, when you can. Frequent the farmers' market. Buy from a family farm directly. Shun fast food. Avoid processed food. Plant a garden. Read ingredients and stay away from anything that your grandmother wouldn't easily recognize as "real food."

I know that these do-good lists can feel oppressive. One more thing to worry about. Organic is expensive. Fast food is convenient. You're stressed and exhausted and finding the time to shop and cook healthy food feels like one more item on the never-ending "to do" list. 

But what I love about Michael Pollan is that he's a writer who gives me more than just the bad news and the list of virtuous things to do about it. He inspires me to do those good things because I see how they enhance my quality of life. How they bring new pleasure into the everyday. How a new virtuous cycle can be created, right on the individual level.

I've driven up to a family farm in Wisconsin with a friend and our kids and stocked up the freezer with free range, grass fed beef. It was fun. It was an outing that I'll always remember. We went hiking in a local state park on the way. Stopped at a pizza joint. It was an adventure.

I've gotten weekly boxes of produce from a CSA and wondered what to do with all that kale. And had some unexpected fun figuring that out. Yes, it took some extra time and the next summer, when I was too busy, I let it go. But there's always another opportunity. You do what you can.

In a recent essay in the New York Review of Books, Pollan explains that part of the politics of the food movement is in fact a new affirmation of everyday pleasure. That food can be a source of nourishment to our bodies and our souls. That we can reclaim the value of home cooking and family meals in a new way. That the everyday choices we make are adding up collectively to create a new movement with growing political, economic, and cultural clout. 

I love the fact that one man can communicate so much to so many people simply through writing. It reaffirms the power of ideas. It reaffirms the value of meaningful work. It reaffirms the belief that one person can make a difference. It reaffirms the belief that we can collectively make a difference. 

It gives me hope. And that's why Michael Pollan is my hero.

Read Michael Pollan's latest article on the food movement in the New York Review of Books.
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